for your reading pleasure

let me preface this story by telling you that i hate birds. HATE. birds.

when i was in first or second grade we bought a bird. a green parakeet. named piki (meaning one bird in japanese...good thing there aren't very many japanese people living in new jersey). now piki was special. he was crippled. yes we had a crippled bird (not actually sure why my parents bought a crippled bird). so one day we came home and piki had gotten out of the gage (obviously someone left it open. birds don't escape from cages). oh and piki was really bad at flying. basically, he couldn't. so picture the larson family on their hands and knees searching for a crippled bird on the ground like it was some rodent. kind of a traumatic experience.

then a couple years later, guess who found piki dead on the bottom of his cage? that would be me. traumatic.

and both times that a bird got into our house, i was the one that found them. first the giant black bird that came down the chimney and flapped around my parents bedroom. to make it worse, the bird injured itself and got blood on the ceiling. a true crime scene. then a second stupid bird thought it would be a good idea to journey up the dryer outlet in the side of the house. went to grab some socks and instead found a bird. i could keep going on about the birds in my life but lets skip ahead to the bird that entered my life today.

the one that flew into my face.  i was waiting for a the bus when bam! i was slapped in the face. thats just what it felt like when a pigeon (ewwwww) decided to side swipe me in the face with its wing. maybe it was blind. or just stupid as i'm beginning to think all birds are as i write this post. of alllll the birds that could have flown into my face, why did it have to be a the dirtiest bird. a pigeon. a rat with wings. it was a face full of disease and dirtiness and grossness.

i. hate. birds.